If you aren’t following me on Twitter yet, you probably should be. Here’s why.
Tuneful Discussions
I am a whistler.
But.
I have seen this scenario more times than I can count:
— Ditrie Marie Bowie (@DitrieMarie) August 17, 2017
Do people think that by whistling like they're calling cattle home is going to help the non-whistler?
— Ditrie Marie Bowie (@DitrieMarie) August 17, 2017
Like the non-whistler hasn't tried already, probably until they were blue in the face and on the verge of blacking out?
— Ditrie Marie Bowie (@DitrieMarie) August 17, 2017
Side note: whistling no longer looks like a word to me.
— Ditrie Marie Bowie (@DitrieMarie) August 17, 2017
Requirements for the Ultimate Pet
Attributes I look for in a pet:
•friendly
•quiet
•capable of summoning the elder gods. pic.twitter.com/AUa2EeBNjn— Ditrie Marie Bowie (@DitrieMarie) August 20, 2017
Pre-Coffee Observations
Surveys only tell you about the kind of people who fill out surveys. Also, I should probably have coffee before I tweet.
— Ditrie Marie Bowie (@DitrieMarie) August 28, 2017
One-Sided Conversations
Me to Gizmo: Hey, little bug!
Also me: He's like, "I'm not a bug, I eat bugs!"
Still me: Yeah, but you are what you eat. pic.twitter.com/xlKa80kx9g
— Ditrie Marie Bowie (@DitrieMarie) August 28, 2017
I may or may not have lined his terrarium with old drafts. He's a literary dragon.
— Ditrie Marie Bowie (@DitrieMarie) August 28, 2017
Fun and Random Ideas
Fighting evil with tubas, accordions, and alpine horns. Like you do.
— Ditrie Marie Bowie (@DitrieMarie) August 28, 2017
Must save the oom-pah. pic.twitter.com/4IULcSM48v
— Ditrie Marie Bowie (@DitrieMarie) August 28, 2017
Heartwarming Stories
I was sitting on the patio of a coffee shop wearing a t-shirt that had lots of little white skulls on it.
— Ditrie Marie Bowie (@DitrieMarie) August 29, 2017
There were two people sitting across from me who saw the whole thing. And I really hope they saw the bee, too.
— Ditrie Marie Bowie (@DitrieMarie) August 29, 2017
Which isn't unusual behavior in my neighborhood, to be honest. It's a pretty quirky place. But still.
— Ditrie Marie Bowie (@DitrieMarie) August 29, 2017
That bee tried at least six skulls before moving on. I hope she found what she was looking for.
— Ditrie Marie Bowie (@DitrieMarie) August 29, 2017
